I met Tony in the High Street in Croydon. He agreed to have an interview with me. I really did not have to ask him questons, he was talking for the whole time.
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Vlog in text: Folks we are here with Tony who's been on the Streets of London for how long I've been on the streets on and off pretty much my whole life really I'll be recording now yeah sorry MBA I've had a pretty much chaotic lifestyle since I was a child and I was brought up around addiction um alcoholism I've been brought up around the violence so I've been abused when I was a child I was put into children's home all right let's so let's get back to the beginning your parents were you homeless not right what was your job before you became homeless before you lost your address I'm a senior JavaScript software engineer now I've got mental health he's got mental health so why are we out here so you had an accident yeah a bike accident you were on a bike right yeah from from cocaine from heroin from I don't know my real father I grew up with my stepfather which was my brother's dad and I cast him as my real dad for 12 years because I don't have my real father and my mum was having an affair with somebody that was in Norwich and that's how I was born so you've never met your real dad once or twice in a pub when I was about six years old and when he introduced himself to me he went to give me some money my mum pulled me away and pulled me out of the pub she didn't want me to have anything to do with it anyway because my mum is now dead I have I don't know why so I'll never know why she she was she didn't want me to have any relationship with my father of anything all right but you grew up around addiction did you say I grew up my mom was an alcoholic throughout my whole life she was a functioning alcoholic when I was a child and she did well up until I was about six or seven years old and then she started losing control of her life so therefore she couldn't look after all I've got two other brothers I have an older brother and a younger brother she couldn't look after us after I became about six or seven um my mum used to get seriously like beaten up by her boyfriends and it's really up when they came home from the pub that my mom would get beaten up a lot and I used to witness a lot of violence and like growing up I got put into a children's home I've got a point to repair care care home when I was about seven because I was abused um at this time I had a cannabis addiction I was smoking cigarette smoking cannabis my mum used to smoke so that's how I started smoking it because how old you've been when you started this was about six or seven years old what six or seven years old when you started to smoke cannabis and do you think cannabis affected you somehow or did you get it wasn't so well it was the start it was the start of it was what happened then what what drugs uh is it progressed on to get yes ever so sniffing gas fluid things like that and so it's what we did at that age as children when we were that well when I'm going on to when I was about 10 years old it's what we did at age you know everybody was into it we used to sniff aerosols Gus glues things like that and I've always been a good person I've always had been a conscious person you know just so I've always had that in mind so I've learned not to lose myself so much being out here you know but it's been through so much being through so much experience and so much addiction and all the bad things I've seen in my life it's given me enough knowledge and experience to be StreetWise enough myself to not get taken the Mickey out of our street basically but um one of my biggest problems out here is actually convincing people that I'm actually homeless a lot of people don't believe me of a spice problem I smoke spice at the moment this is my my only issue at the moment and what put me on the street this time I've been up for about two years this time and I'll be honest to you I've served about 14 years of my life because of my addiction drug addiction I've got a very heavy addiction throughout my teenage years on crack cocaine like you are you done with it I'm done with it now I will explain in a minute uh is I started on crack cocaine uh which led on to heroin I was through my teenage years I was totally out of control I was shoplifting I was doing anything to fund my habit I hated myself for it but it was the only way I could survive to keep my addiction going and um we've drawn from hell and it's not very good you feel like you're dying basically it's a really horrible they call it a clap it's it's um something I wouldn't worship on anybody so I had to get break out of it and to be honest it was so hard to get away from the area I stopped doing it I had to take myself away from people that were doing it because it was like influencing me to do it you know so when I was getting like a little bit of clean time I was started mixing with people that were taking it so then I ended up relapsing and going back on it anyway my life's been chaotic throughout my whole I'm 40 years old now my last book chaotic I've done 13 years of my life during prison because of addiction um I stopped like that I made a conscious decision after my mum passed I turned my life around I came out of prison about four years ago with a qualification working in the catering industry and Catering yes I done really well all I walked out how long have you done prison for I've done about 13 years of my life 13 years in prison just roughly what for uh poor funding my drug addiction when it was mainly through my teenage years that's when I was at my worst I was at my Peak on my addiction you're 40 years so I've done three oh you know enough yeah and I'm still alive thankful because I've had so many people that have come from and not come out of it they've died I've had a lot of first people to me that have passed away out here a lot of people seem to think this is a game out it was not a game Risk people's lives yeah and it's trying to convince people that it's people's subconscious people's emotions people's feelings are involved it's a very deep thing you know and then a lot of us have to a lot of us has to block this out because of people take a grip and take it taking advantage of us you know your vulnerability and all that you know you have to hold up a shield I'm sorry I'm a bit all over the place like talking to you so well let's get back well in 13 years in the in prison yeah and when was it the last time you've been in prison I was in prison about three and a half years ago so you've been trying to keep yourself away from prison for the last couple of years I've miraculously turned my life around overnight when that happened to me and my mum passed on my birthday I came out so the recent lasted three years ago three years ago yes I basically came up with a catering in I was qualified I'm a qualified Chef I came up with a good qualification of first yeah and walked into my dream job my life changed overnight it was all happening so quickly and I became [Music] I've worked on it and I came out of prison with a good qualification I've got an mvq level one and two in professional property which makes me a professional chef I then came out of prison and walked into my first job which was the slug and lettuce first legal job I was paying tax I felt so proud of myself when I was doing this because I turned it all around overnight and I stopped talking about this I was trying to go straight my mum died on my birthday after this happened I lost my head I couldn't open a bit I tried to continue working but I was just messing with the holders up I was crossed in the company a lot of money my boss had to let me go in the end because he was aware of my mother's day if he was aware of my background but he gave me a chance because of my potential he ended up sucking a chef he had for six for 12 years and he gave me the position because of my potential is well I was doing really well and then I hope I just fell apart I lost my life mentally I'm a really emotional person it's like I wear my heart and when that happened to me there was so many young art suppressors that I needed to ask my mum about my dad for example so many things I needed to know in my life tell me about your spice addiction yeah because we're basically I've from when I was young I smoked how long you've been smoking spice about about three or four years it's uh it's I've basically changed it from Cannabis test because I just I used to smoke a lot of this and basically people started mixing chemicals in it and it really affected my lungs and I started popping my lungs up and I was having coffee fits because of the Cannabis cannabis yeah because people have been putting like artificial stuff in it yes and there's I had to stop I stopped that overnight and I ended up putting in place despise in place to take away that that footage you know you know that empty space inside you if you quit something it's called avoid it's an empty space inside you that you need to fill with something else and they call it cross-addicting that's what they call it you know when you change one drug for another it's called cross addiction that's what they call it in recovery you know you cross that diction yeah and that's what you had yes I've come up with this space I cross addicted I I went from an addiction of being on cannabis every day I used to smoke three Apes a day that's like 60 pounds worth a day off cannabis it because I am I have so much mental health I suffer with terrible anxiety I used to try it I don't know I suffer badly from depression in my new features you know this and I've got so used to being in this lifestyle as well you know it's what I'm used to is just being around all this is um yeah right on it have you got any phone number that people can contact you and help you would you would you share your phone number now I would just like to say but it's just uh for anybody that is watching this I just want to say please like take into consideration that this is people's feelings and people's lives that are involved in it sometimes people don't portray their feelings as well as what other people do they're not as good as expressing theirselves so if people are trying to explain yourself to somebody on the street because it's not up to make it banked a lot a lot of people walk by and ignore us on the street so if there's anything I can pass on to people just please listen because sometimes just listening to One Thing like there might be one thing that somebody would really want to get out and share with somebody that could save somebody's life you know it's just one thing you know when you feel like everybody's not listening to you and you feel like you don't exist it can put you into a lot of homeless people would and they like to talk they like to be yeah and stomach from experience because of this has happened I've had people killed herself over it because nobody feel like nobody listened I've had people commit suicide over there so it's a very serious thing and then a lot of the community and the public seem to think it's a game and as people judge people there's a lot of judgmental going on uh people thinking um like I said in the beginning of this interview a lot of people I struggle convincing people that I'm actually homeless so because of the way I look because I'm not too clean but it's uh basically it's there's not there's no Persona or any weight a homeless person is in the world it's just because a person's scruffy it's because he might have a serious issue he's got a lot of things going on in his head that's how he's got that way I choose not to let myself get that that badge you know so I'm trying to keep my head above water but it's getting hot which is why I look at that little bit cleaner than most homeless people but a lot of people seem to think that if you're not clean you're not homeless so sometimes I feel when I wake up in the car park or on the back I sleep in a car park around the back but I don't make like 27.50 for a hotel which is importantly I'm not going to say the name of the hotel because if I had to travel because he's supposed to take bankride any exceptions I don't make the money up every day because convincing people to unless a lot of people don't believe on them I struggle badly I have a lot of regular people around here that followed my story for the past two years and that's how I survive out here how much money do you need every day to feed your habit well but you know what I've done so well I've been minimized everything it's my only habit now it's just this place just the spice how much do you need how much money are you able to beg to be if there is I try and back up is the money I beg for is not to support my drugs that's what this is another wrong thing people do people seem to think that the money we're big enough is all for drugs it's absolutely correct it's not true we will get harnessed with the same bus because one person supports their drug habit when they're bigger money from the meals you know we use it for different things I use it for hotel I use it to wash with I use it to work but I also use the left phone ready to keep it in contact with my key worker because my people are housing my key workers just down the road their office he comes to me every day to have a catch up to see if there's any updates on anything or if any place any accommodation that's come up for me because I'm a very private I need my own space so I've had down the hostels because I'm in recovery from class A I don't want to put myself in that we're at risk of putting myself at risk of using again so I've had to refuse hostels because I know hostels and you're absolutely full of people with addictions I don't want to throw myself back in the fire so I've had to refuse hostels and wait until my own place come up and so this is why it's taking a little bit longer for me to get a place you know because I'm to keep my own self safe and free from addiction because I've been recovery from the hard job at the moment I'm having to stay out in the streets because I don't really have a heavily influential influential people in there that can lead you back into using all drugs don't want to do that because I'm doing so well at the moment you know of course and if there is any advice that you could give to people what that would be um things with a pinch of salt well as as a homeless person take things with a Pinter so not to take things so personally and don't hold grudges all right my friend doesn't have a ripple effect there's a lot of issues is there anything else would you like to add to that interview I hope things get better things will get better and I wish all homeless people I hope hey just like I said I struggle every day Within These people I'm actually a real homeless but yeah I know how it feels Grace so just keep strong and keep it back because there's people like this gentleman here that keep my experience happy you've helped me to stay positive and that you know because if it weren't for players like you we wouldn't get noticed we'd just get forgotten about left burn treatment thanks a lot for the interview my friend hope you get better stop the drug addiction and get yourself a place thank you Check my vlog on https://bloggervloggerselektazupa.blogspot.com/ Please subscribe to my channels English - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc6D5Fnuv-x76ZuBEE1QzqQ Polish https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCONq_xGqSq1IF_MF03QWhrQ Zupa's walks https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsFDFcYxQfjFbksRp9g5tcA Music https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqUliL9aCdLJKX7bEqssl_g/videos Silesian Schalger https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzwrGNpy_d656LCARoqLexA/videos Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bartosz.strzelec.aka.zupa.tlumacz.dj.life.lover/ Twitter https://twitter.com/Selekta_Zupa Instagram https://www.instagram.com/selekta_zupa/ Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@vlogger_zupa #london #croydon #homeless #homelessness #uk
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